Q: How do I adopt an infant?

A: The most difficult and lengthy part of the process of adopting an infant is finding a birth mother/family that has decided to surrender their newborn for adoption. Some agencies, FAMILY FOCUS included, are contacted by birth families who have found us themselves, or been referred to us, and ask us to take custody of their child when it is born, and find a suitable adoptive family. However, this is not as common as it was years ago.

It is highly recommended that those who wish to adopt an infant be willing and prepared to search diligently, using every legal resource at their disposal, to find birth parents. There are websites that FAMILY FOCUS can suggest to you where birth parents and adoptive parents can find each other. Some adopting families are comfortable advertising in local or out-of-state newspapers, or college or nursing school newspapers. FAMILY FOCUS can also provide a reading list of current books to help families looking to adopt an infant. Networking on your own, and telling everyone you know that you are looking for an infant to adopt, can only help. You never know who "knows someone, who knows someone..."

No matter what you do, however, chances are you may be in for an extended wait, particularly if you are looking for a child of a specific race or ethnicity. In the meantime, there is still paperwork and approvals to be completed.

Here are the steps you need to follow in order to be prepared to have an infant placed into your home for adoption, once you locate one or one is located for you:

1. Information/Orientation at an agency: Before you begin any paperwork, agencies require you to attend a meeting at which they explain their services to you, and the needs of the many different children who may be available to adopt. At FAMILY FOCUS ADOPTION SERVICES, we call these our Adoption Information Meetings (AIMS), and we offer them several times a month at no charge. Before you have even decided if our agency is right for you, we give you as much information as we can on today's realities about the various types of adoption and foster care.

2. Training: In order to be approved to adopt an infant, you must attend a certain amount of training. Many agencies give training over the course of several weeks, a few hours each week. At FAMILY FOCUS, our Direct Placement Program training begins with a DPP Intake Interview with one of our DPP Family Intake Coordinators. At the conclusion of the your interview, you may request an application to our Program. Before your application is approved, you will be required to attend two additional training sessions that are specific to what you will face as you move toward permanency with a child.

3. Application: The application process is fairly extensive, and includes a good deal of paperwork for you to fill out. In addition, you will need to submit a set of fingerprints to be reviewed by New York State and the FBI, and you will fill out a form so that your background can be checked for any history of child abuse.

4. Home Site Visits: During or after the time it takes for you to fill out your paperwork and complete your training, a Caseworker will make appointments to visit your home twice, during which he or she will interview you, assess your home, and prepare to write your Family Study.

5. Family Study: Your study (called "Home Study" by many agencies) represents a summation of your paperwork, your personal references, your interviews, and your Caseworker's observations of your interactions, your environment, and your physical home itself.

6. Financial Preparation: While you are doing your paperwork and having your Family Study completed, we recommend that you prepare financially with a bank account that you will be able to access quickly if an infant is located. This money will be needed in a lump sum to cover many of the legal and logistical costs of adoption, such as lawyer fees, birth mother support (if needed), hospital expenses, etc. These are discussed in greater detail during your DPP Intake Interview.

7. Placement: When an infant is located, you must be prepared to arrange for a meeting with our agency to take physical custody at the time of surrender. Each surrender is different, some taking place at our agency, some at the birth hospital, and some at a third-party location.

8. Waiting Period: A birth family has 30 days (in New York State) from the date of the signing of the surrender to change their mind, and request that a judge consider returning their child to them.

9. Finalization: After the 30 days is over, the agency will schedule an adoption ceremony. At that time the adoptive family signs papers that begin the process of finalization.

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