After the child's signature and the witnessing, on another six original Covenants, the child is declared adopted at the exact moment that the last witness signs the last document. Then each parent and the newly adopted child(ren) are each given an original of each other's Covenants, as is the placing agency, the adoption agency, and the last set is held to be sent to court with the other finalization documents.
There are usually pictures and/or videos taken of the Ceremony. Families often invite extended family and friends to the ceremony. There are also sibling and grandparent 'affirmation' documents to be signed if the family so chooses. The Adoption Covenant Ceremony is the culmination of all the FAMILY FOCUS transition processes.
The Adoption Covenant Ceremony marks the discrete moment in time when a maybe-family becomes a forever-family. It has no legal standing: in New York State the adoption of a foster child has little legal status until finalization of the adoption. But it does have tremendous emotional resonance and psychological meaning for everyone who has ever witnessed one.
Through the use of individual and separate Covenants, signed at the Ceremony, by each parent and by the child, and witnessed by placing agency staff (when possible) and the FAMILY FOCUS or local caseworker, the adoption is declared to be a reality. Each parent declares through their Covenant, which is read aloud by their transition worker, that they have made a final, permanent, irrevocable, and unconditional decision to parent their no-longer-maybe child. They declare their love for their new child; and their commitment to their child's good. Over and over and over synonyms for 'forever,' and 'unconditional' are used in the Covenants.
After each Covenant is read out loud, the parent is asked if this Covenant accurately describes what they believe and what they are promising. When the parent assents, they then sign six originals. When the last Covenant is witnessed, the parent is declared to now have a new child. If there is a second parent, then the second Covenant, changed for gender if necessary, but otherwise exactly the same as the first is then read, signed, and witnessed.
The child's Covenant is necessarily very different than the parent's. The adoptive relationship is not between equals: adults adopt; children are adopted. While the parents must make an unconditional commitment to their new child, the child does not have the power to make an unconditional commitment to the parents. The commitment of the child is always, by the nature of the relationship, conditional, with the condition being that the parents are speaking the truth about the irrevocability of their commitment.
The child's Covenant, therefore, speaks always to the child's belief. The child is witnessing to his trust and belief in his new parents' promises. On the sole condition that those promises are held to, the child recognizes his responsibilities to his new family.
